cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He passed out mid-signature
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
