he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
