if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
