He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
