Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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