I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
