I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
