i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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