I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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