apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
