How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
