It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
