Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
