dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
