You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
