So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
