If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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