Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
