So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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