So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
