Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
