we have officially lost it.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
