Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
