i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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