they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
