I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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