I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
