and next time when you feel me up, do it right
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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