And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
