Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
