The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Still dying that you shit outside
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
