I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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