Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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