you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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