on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
