Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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