You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
