just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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