I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
