Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Panties = found
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
