I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
