This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
