well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
