I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
