you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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