The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
