We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize