a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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