no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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