i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
