So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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