I just made out with a guy for $7.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Green mimosas i think yes
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
