carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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