Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We left the knife in your bed.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
