6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
