i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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