I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
