Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
