people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
