Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
