i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
