the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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