Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
