idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
